‘On Marriage’
Fact: There once was a man who married his daughter. Unfortunately, they both agreed to the proposition, and were happy with situation. They lived happily ever after, and he died tens years before she did.
Fact: There once was a man and his sister who were married. They also, unfortunately, lived happily ever after. They rarely quarreled, and when they did it was never of any consequence. They both enjoyed playing checkers.
Fact: There was once a man who married another man. They also were happy, though biologically unable to make children. They lived together, and he cooked every Thursday, Tuesday, and Sunday night. The other He cooked Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Saturday’s they went out.
Fact: There once lived a man and two women and they were all married to each other. The man felt that he was very lucky, and the women thought so too.
Fact: There once lived a man and his brother. They were both married to the same women and she was very lucky. She had more money and more things, because she had two men looking after her. The men were lucky because they each had a woman, and women were scarce.
Fact: There was once a man who married to his dog. The dog had no idea that this was true, but he did not complain and the man was happy.
Fact: There was once a man who married a woman. He was extremely unhappy with the situation, but did it because he felt pressured into to it, and he was afraid of spending the rest of life alone. They had two children and were bitter and resentful. The man took to drinking after work, and when he came home from work, he would fight with his wife, occasionally hitting her. She was not that happy either, but neither of them felt well enough to leave the other one.
Fact: There once lived a man who was not married. He lived alone and ate alone and watched TV alone. Occasionally he would get drunk, and sometimes he would go out and bring a girl to sleep in his bed. He was quite happy, especially when he would watch stories on the news about a man who shot his wife, or a woman who cut off her husband’s testicles. When he would see these stories, he would chuckle and take a sip out of his beer and eat another forkful of his Hungry Man dinner.
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