the gumshoe

the gumshoe

covered in goo

reached into the yellow canoe

pulled out his phone

filed a report

‘I’ve found the lake guilty

Of murder of course’

The policemen’s eyes

went wide with surprise

‘That’s the second time

this week.’

He cried.

The officer said,

This lakes not so tough

I’m bringing him in

Huff and puff

Don’t you squirm

as I apply the cuffs

The investegator

eyed the file

‘Clear the court

and start the trial

I’ll hang this lake if I can

This inanimatey is just a sham

The judge’s prodigious

mustache was chewed

tell me who speaks

for the accused

The lawyer roared

Not so fast

Judge, throw this case

on it’s ass

I’ve got a witness who will swear

That the lake

 was unaware

The witness

heemed and hawed

etceteraed, and aproposed

He could be sentient

He could be not

Hang him first

Then I’ll have a shot

Deliberate the jurours did

The verdict game back at half past ten

Unanimous it was agreed

Murder the charge

First degree

So him they hung,

And hung again

The rope kept

Just falling in

A pump they yelled

A dike perhaps

We’ll drain this lake

Twice as fast

Pump they did, and diked it too

And after all the hullaballo

The crowd stepped back from its huddle

And the lake was now a puddle

Victory some said

We had no choice

But in the back

 was a discerning voice

‘Now it may be that

the lake is gone

But that puddle

Could still drown someone’

His voice was buried

Drowned and stopped

The peacocks chest

Had been popped

And at last the puddle

was alone

To plot and scheme

 and vengeance hone